This one is difficult because forgiveness of myself and others is one of the hardest things for me to do.
Here’s a list of what I need to forgive myself for:
1. Choosing my life over a religion that doesn’t make sense to me instead of going through the motions because it’s what my parents want. It’s my life.
2. My job supporting the military. I enjoy it and judgments from other people about it are invalid. God doesn’t care.
3. Being agnostic. It’s my choice.
4. Being honest. Sometimes I hurt people’s feelings, but it’s better to be honest than sugarcoat things. I’m not a lamb.
5. Literally every time I’ve drank vodka. I make bad decisions.
6. Moving back and forth between jobs and states. It’s what I needed to do to get to know myself.
7. That time at Jean’s Place.
8. That time at Parliament House.
9. Loss of friendships, especially the ones that I didn’t end. Some people show their true selves and sometimes people grow apart.
10. Every guy I’ve dated.
11. Being vocal. Different from being honest. I get into trouble and cause chaos, but at the end of the day, my conscience is clear.
12. The bad thing… It wasn’t my fault.
13. Being an introvert. It’s who I am. I don’t need to feel guilty because people think I need to have more fun or drink more or be out more.
14. Lashing out emotionally.
15. The person I used to be – angry, abrasive, brash, unkind, sad. I wasn’t doing anything about my mental health.
16. That time in 3rd grade.
17. That time in 5th grade.
18. Everytime I’ve stuck my foot in my mouth.
19. Living my own life.
20. Being me. I can engineer me. I am ok.