Mental Health, Random

Nameless

Old but timeless rant… I feel now I felt when I wrote it.

*****

It’s crazy how life is. Sometimes unimaginable what it does to you. Silly even. Everyone at some time or another thinks they know everything. Or if not everything, has some sort of expectation of what’s coming. You know what to feel and when to feel it. You know what you will wake up to. Tomorrow is promised and everything is just as you knew it would be. Knew it could be. Can’t nobody tell you nothing cause you’ve got it going on. Everything don’t change much. And then one not so special day, maybe because of an event or cause of nothing at all, there’s this feeling creeping in that you never felt before. It’s cold and unfamiliar. It doesn’t make sense. And suddenly you don’t know what you thought you knew. You know you exist but can’t tell if you’re alive. You know that you speak but don’t know if you’re words affect anyone. You know what you do but you don’t know the purpose. Mixed emotions are your day to day. Disquieting thoughts have become your comfort. Fantasy is your reality. Uncertainty is your way of life. Hell, you don’t even know your damn name. And you keep staring out the window trying to find what you lost but you don’t even know what that is and you hope the sky has the answers. But you’ve mastered pretending. You’re an artist and you can paint your face the way you want people to see it. The way you want people to think you are. They think they know. So you keep on feeling. You keep on doing. You keep on smiling. You keep on existing. Act like you still know it all. Skip in the hallways, show love and make the world laugh. Show off those big beautiful brown eyes and that one dimple you got from your mother. You’re just living like you always did cause everything don’t change much. And you don’t know if anyone realizes that you’ve completely lost your mind.

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