Cognitive Dissonance

Overcome by devastating loneliness
My company are dust bunnies
Conversations with cartoon characters
And imaginary, real friends
Are the pinnacle of my day
Yet, when faced with the prospect
Of being in the company of others
I get stage fright
I am reluctant
Suddenly lethargic
Longing to be alone again
I am tired of myself
I am ill with myself
Over solitude and this self-imposed
But stricken dumb
By the harsh cacophony
(Or normal conversations)
Of others around me
This cognitive dissonance
Frustrates me
Renders me stagnant
So that ultimately,
I remain alone
Writing letters and poems
Singing songs to myself
Wishing for more than this

When will my metamorphosis
Into a harmonious being begin?

4 thoughts on “Cognitive Dissonance”

  1. Hello Lauren…
    there is a popular song done by the band, Tool called 46 & 2. It is about a human metamorphosis. It resonates with me because I have spent the past seven years undergoing such an unbelievable thing. One day I was a professional with ‘picket-fence’ suburbia woes and the next day, I was literally homeless talking to the water stains on the sidewalks of an inner city 1500 miles away… It isn’t pretty. In fact, it’s flat out frightening… Stripped of everything you think you love and hated by those that thought they loved you, cast out, spit on, beaten down and unheard as you make every honest and poor attempt to convey the brilliance in the common sense ‘Light’ that is now shining in your heart… No one will understand you because you will be speaking from a true Enlightened point of view that no one can truly understand until the light shines upon them… You may wait and pray for that day to happen and I fully understand why you would do so… But, now that I find myself on the ‘other side,’ so to speak; I wouldn’t wish what transformed my whole, heart, mind and soul to befall any other living creature. It isn’t pleasant yet, to be candid; I am today a free man, void of concerns from the Unknown and unaffected by the opinions of others as they make any attempt to give any credulity to the opinions they have based upon the observations of others… An ignorant stance in it’s very essence… but, because that’s all they know, I placate them and no longer find value in persuading them to believe any other way…

    It is my hope and my opinion for that is all my hope can truly be… that the Light will shine on all of us, gently; not like it did upon me… Just live you life and pay no heed to the opinions of others for the only opinion that matters most, is yours…

    Liked by 1 person

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